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Change is exciting – that’s a definite. But it can also be terrifying, exhausting, and sometimes just totally overwhelming (and all of the above, including the excitement, of course!). And there are so many life changes that happen, like starting a family, moving to a new city (or even just a new house), changing careers, or making any other major life shifts that it can feel as though your entire world is changing overnight.
The good news is big changes don’t have to send you into a panic, and if you plan things out and think things through, you can ease into the unknown without losing your sanity. With that in mind, keep reading to find out more about how to make big life changes feel less overwhelming.
Accept That It Will Be Messy
There’s something you should remember about changes – they’re rarely smooth and pretty much never seamless. You can plan for weeks, maybe longer, you can make checklists, you can do charts, you can think you’ve got everything in hand, and then you might still feel as though things are spinning out of control. That’s normal. The fact is that life doesn’t just transition from one phase to the next neatly and in a straight line, no matter how great that would be – often it’s a wiggly mess of lines, or a zigzag, or perhaps even a circle because it feels like you haven’t got anywhere – but you will have.
The key is not to fight how messy change often (always?) is and to just embrace it instead. After all, it’s how it’s going to be. That means you can give yourself permission to feel uncertain, a little lost, or even completely freaked out at times if it comes to that. And why wouldn’t it? Change shakes up your routine and tears you away from your comfort zone, which means you’ve got to rethink how you do things. But that’s great because that’s how growth happens.
Big changes will be uncomfortable because they push you into the unknown – you’re leaving behind what’s familiar and stepping into something that isn’t totally defined quite yet, and that’s definitely scary. But it’s also the best way to move forward, so it’s pretty much essential.
Break It Down Into Smaller Steps
One of the main reasons change feels so overwhelming is that you’re looking at the whole picture instead of just focusing on the next step and dealing with that. What do we mean? Well, let’s assume you’re moving house and you want to pack. Rather than looking at everything that has to go from one place to another, focus on one room at a time – it’s easier and less stressful. Or if you’re changing careers, don’t stress about what’s going to happen in five years, just deal with what you want right now.
The point is that when you break things down into smaller, bite-sized tasks, they suddenly feel a lot more doable and you’ll be able to tick them off your list more quickly and easily. That’s great on its own, but then you can look at how far you’ve gone towards your ultimate goal – the one that seemed so big and scary – and find you’re much closer than you realise; you were doing the small steps and you’ve been moving ahead the whole time. This way of doing things is particularly helpful when you’re dealing with emotional overwhelm and when change feels like it’s too big, focusing on the immediate, tangible actions is something that can keep you grounded and calm. It’s definitely worth a try.
Don’t Overthink Every Decision
When you’re facing a big life change, it’s very easy to get stuck when you need to make a decision – it’s so easy it’s even got a name: decision paralysis. You’ll be asking yourself all kinds of questions, like where you should move to, what kind of job you should go for, how you can pick a path that offers the best work-life balance, and so on, and that’s going to start getting overwhelming to the point where you can’t make any decision at all.
Sometimes you’ve just got to go for it and make a decision and trust yourself while you’re doing it. In the end, there is no perfect choice – there’s just the best choice for you at the time that you can make with the information you have right now. For example, if you’re looking for a new home, instead of trying to work out precisely what you need and agonising over every detail, start by exploring what’s available – that’s going to take the pressure off, and you can just browse available listings to get a feel for what’s around in your price range. Once you actually start looking, the right choice will start to get a lot clearer and easier to make.
And of course, most of the time the decisions you make aren’t permanent, and if it turns out you went down the wrong path, there’s no shame in turning around and trying again. You can essentially adjust things as you go and in the end, you’ll get where you want to be. That’s not going to happen if you don’t make any choices at all because it’s all too stressful and overwhelming.
Find Your Support System
Even if you like to be by yourself a lot of the time, when it comes to making big life decisions, having a good support system you can trust is essential. Surround yourself with friends, family, mentors, online communities, perhaps a therapist, and anyone else who’s there to support you, and when you’re able to talk things through and ask for advice, you’ll get some useful ideas and information you wouldn’t have come up with by yourself.
And even if you want to make all your own decisions, change is still going to be a lot less scary when you’re not going through it by yourself and having to face it alone. Even just venting about how overwhelming things feel can make everything seem a lot more manageable.
Manage Your Expectations
One of the biggest mistakes people make when they’re going through big changes is expecting instant results – you want to feel settled immediately, you want your new job to be easy and feel like the right fit from the start, and you want to adjust to a new city from day one.
But the thing is, that’s not how change works, and adjustments take some time to happen. So give yourself that time and instead of expecting to feel at home in your new situation immediately, focus on the progress you’re making (and stop worrying about perfection – it doesn’t exist). As the days go by, you’re getting closer and closer to being totally at home and settled, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. Plus, it’s wise to remember that just because something feels uncomfortable at first, that doesn’t mean it was the wrong choice – it just means you’ve got to grow a little to fit the new situation, and again, that takes time. In other words, if you manage your expectations and know thing will take time, you’ll feel a lot better about it all.
Create A Sense Of Stability
The problem with big life changes is that they shake up your routine and nothing seems familiar anymore because you’ve lost a lot of structure. But one way to make things feel less overwhelming is to find stability wherever you can – that means you’ve got to make it happen or look for it.
If you’re moving, keep some routines the same like your morning coffee ritual or watching a favourite TV show and so on. If you’re starting a new job, find some small ways to make your new workspace feel familiar, perhaps with a framed photo on your desk, your old notebook to take notes in, or a playlist you enjoy that makes you feel happy.
The point is, if you’re able to create these little pockets of structure, you’ll be a lot happier and calmer and you’ll be able to adjust to your new situation more quickly and easily.
